自恋

Everything around me is slowly deteriorating. 我身边的一切都在慢慢的恶化.

恶化是我查字典找出来的. 但是感觉不一样.

翻译是很深奥的学问, 语言是很神奇的东西. 从来都是别人用什么语言来和我讲话我就用什么语言思考(当然仅限于我知道的2.2语言), 可是最近发现我脑子里面的语言细胞也开始deteriorate, 讲英文的时候脑袋里会清清楚楚的出现汉字, 写中文的时候会念某英文单词一百遍还想不起来中文是什么. 说不出来的话只好作罢.

The wind is blowing so hard that despite the tightly locked balcony door I can see my curtains moving. Only slightly, reminds me of a warm spring afternoon when a lovely breeze tantalizes one so. Yet this is not such an afternoon. Spring came to say hello but it seems like winter has decided to stay longer.

This is an old apartment. Many before me were shoved in this little box, spent their 365~ days, then onward. Everyone leaves some pieces behind, many of them not in such good condition — bookcase with no backbone, rug that was once passionately kissed by an iron, and for some, perhaps a few broken hearts and dreams. So I was told. So I have discovered.

So when the wind blows like so, I see the curtains move and think of warm spring afternoons. Or hot summer afternoons. Or cool autumn afternoons. Anything but cold winter afternoons. Stories, they always start with “A long long time ago” and end with “happily ever after.” The past, the future, perhaps they are a little fuzzy, that’s what makes them beautiful. 朦胧美。

So when the wind blows like so, I sometimes wonder whether the old windows will hold up. I imagined a scene from an movie when a hero crashes into an office buidling from a helicopter, and the glass panes suddenly turn into thousands of tiny little crystals, lethal, beautiful.

I like to break things, and I’ve broken a number and a range. I just don’t like the clean up afterwards.

佳佳同学是个幸福的女孩子，said she he said.

我吃了半盒巧克力。北海道带回来的。白的和黑的。我一直以为我只喜欢黑巧克力，喜欢那种苦苦的味道。今天我爱上了这种甜得腻人的东西。

其实我是没有什么可以讲的。已经很久没有值得说的事情了。没有好事，没有坏事，没有值得庆祝的事也没有值得担心的事。有很多该做的事那倒是，可是我最讨厌的就是做那些我不能不做的事。所以我看啊看啊写啊写啊，写完了去看自己以前写的事。

这会一篇很长的无题作文。可是它不是没有重点的。我就是重点。我我我我我。我是这么的爱我自己。

あなたのようにつめたいひと…..

我其实一点也不冷淡。我只是把热情和爱都留给了自己。

看完了Talk to Her. I never realized Spanish was such a beautiful language.

My keyboard is broken. Or on its way to be broken. G doesn’t like to show up most of the time. I’m glad it’s only G and not RSTLNE.

看，这样多好。一早上上网就得罪不少人。跟别人讲话多麻烦，大家都自己讲自己的。而我这样的人除了很juicy的事情之外是很少听别人讲自己的。所以和自己对话，完全没有需要去理解，安慰，敷衍别人的烦恼。

昨天打完球回家打扮自己。决定一个礼拜要好好打扮一次。爱上了紫色的眼影。深的和浅的一起，再加上亮亮的白色。粉红色的护唇膏和黑色睫毛膏。穿超短裙长筒靴和长外套。去外面走路。然后想穿这样在外面无目的乱逛走错了地方别人会不会问我小姐多少钱。

现在也要出去了。带着眼镜穿着睡衣和同一件外套。我已经在日本买了7件外套。曾经我冬天出门都不带外套，因为喜欢穿别人的。所以他后来干脆在车上放了一件借给我穿。我曾经抱怨为什么他不在这种小事上狠心一点。现在我已经没有那种死缠烂打的精力了，虽然还是会为一些小事感动。

从天亮已经坐到了天黑。

我吃了一盒巧克力。40块。原来巧克力也可以吃到反胃。