We can’t have it all

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-can-8217-t-have-it-all/9020/1/

I must say, The Atlantic has had some wonderful articles, or more accurately, essays. This one was being shared all around on FB a few days back, and it took me a while to read the whole thing. There was a sense of relief, that I was not the only one who felt this way. There was also a sense of doubt, that I was using this article as an excuse, for my lack of ambition, and/or achievement.

There was a time I thought of myself as ambitious and overachieving. Then I grew up. I met a lot more people, and found that most have achievements far greater than mine. At first I thought, man I need to catch up somehow. I would secretly find a competition, and try to measure up to them. Then I realized no matter how much I do, there are always going to be people who’ve done more, seen more, accomplished more.

It was a bit discouraging, of course. But I was also relieved. The thought of always having to work to catch up to someone else is daunting, and frankly not an appealing lifestyle. So this past year, I settled into a much simpler lifestyle — of not trying too hard. There were some setbacks. A promotion I probably would have gotten had I worked as hard as before. A year without any new certifications and letters after my name. The feeling of inferiority when comparing myself to my peers.

Good thing I was happy. Well, happy in the sense of contentment. There were ups and downs, but when I think back on the year, I can’t think of any moments I would want to take back.

So now it’s time for another decision. To go to school, experience something unique, exciting and exotic at a very high price tag, or to stay here, find a stable career and start a family, a life with fewer uncertainties. Each has its own appeal, and at a different time and place the decision would be easy.

And for this I am grateful. The chance to choose, between two mysterious paths, knowing that many adventures await no matter what my choice is. She’s absolutely right — we can’t have it all. Yet the fact that we do have a choice is already something to be thankful for.


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